Baltimore County Family Law Attorney Blog

The holidays can be tough for some children, especially if it is the first holiday after their parents' divorce. Children who attempt to deal with the situation on their own often experience many emotional challenges, some of which may not be readily apparent to the adults in their lives.

While it is true that divorce is hard on everyone involved, your Baltimore and Towson divorce lawyer knows that it does not have to permanently damage the kids. In fact, if parents handle the situation appropriately, divorce can be used as a learning tool to provide children with an opportunity to learn and grow as they transition to a different way of life. So, what can you do to help your children deal with the change?

Do Not Ask Your Children to Spy on the Other Parent

It is not uncommon for one parent to want to know what is going on in the other parent's household, particularly if that parent is dating or spending time with a new mate. Prying information out of your children after each visit, or asking them to "find out" various things will not benefit anyone, least of all the kids.

Undoubtedly, you will want to know that your children are safe and well cared for while they are with the other parent, and if that parent is seeing someone, you certainly have a right to know about the individual who will be potentially spending time with your child. Quizzing the children after each visit will only lead to undue stress and anxiety for both parents and kids.  Find another method.

Do Not Have Your Kids Deliver Messages to the Other Parent

Divorces and separations can put a strain on both parties. During the process, one party may cease to communicate with the other party, or there may simply be days when you just don't feel like being "friendly for the sake of the kids." Still, if you have children, you will have to hold a conversation or two at some point, and it can be quite easy to use the children as sort of a go-between to speak to the other parent.

Parents must realize, however, that using your children to pass messages to the other parent is not a good practice, primarily because it then gives the kids some insight into any stress and/or resentment that exists between you and your ex. Alternatively, you can choose to speak to the other parent via text or email, which is also advantageous because it will give you written documentation of what was said on any given date.

Make the Transition as Smooth as Possible for the Children

Packing and unpacking for the daily, weekly or monthly trip between mom and dad's can be a huge hassle. There are ways to make your child's transition from home to home much less stressful. For instance, if the child has a favorite toy, you may want to consider buying a duplicate toy to be left at the other parent's home.

Also, be mindful of the statements and comments you make to the kids as they prepare to leave the home. Saying something as simple as "I'm going to miss you," can leave a child with a sense of guilt for leaving you.

Maintain Some Sense of Normalcy       

Consistency and predictability can prove to be very helpful to a Milford Mill child who is struggling with the change. Arm them with certain information, such as specific dates when they will be going to the other parent's house, which parent will take them to their sports practices and which parent will pick them up at the end of an event.

Seek Help for Yourself, if You Need It

With all that takes place during a divorce, it can be easy to lose yourself in the midst of all the madness and chaos. It iscrucial for parents to consider seeking help for themselves, perhaps from a therapist or support group. Learning how to deal with your own issues can help you be better prepared to deal with your children's issues.

If you have questions about helping your children deal with your divorce or separation, or if you would like more information about the divorce process, contact a divorce lawyer at the Law Offices of Amar Weisman, LLC today.

Call (410) 321-4994 For a Free Consultation 

Call The Law Offices of Amar S. Weisman at (410) 321-4994 to schedule a Free Consultation. The Purpose of the consultation is to determine whether you want to retain this law firm as your Baltimore County & Harford County Family Lawyer. If you do wish to proceed, then you must pay a retainer. See Our Policy on Fees and Costs. The family firm is located next to The Circuit Court for Baltimore County, at 1018 Dulaney Valley Road, Towson, MD 21204.